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The news isn't getting any better.

Whatever is happening in Naperville, Newsradio 780 says it's happening all over the place. They're reporting feral people who don't feel pain, running around and attacking other people. Like, not with guns or knives. Beating them to death with their bare hands. Biting them.

The shop is deathly quiet. None of the machines are working, and even the people who are tensely burning the phone lines are keeping their voices down. I thought I heard shots not long ago. The screenprinting lead climbed up the ladder to the roof, to see if he could see anything, even though plenty of people (including the Big Boss) told him he probably shouldn't.

WBBM Newsradio 780 is reporting on a press conference at the White House. Tony Snow says the government is aware of "the situation," but that's about all he'll say on it. He says it's not a "global epidemic," that "we've turned a corner," and that "the situation is improving," whatever the hell that means.

ETA: If you turn up the volume, you can hear people in the press corps using the word "zombie." When the hell did I walk into a George Romero movie?

Blog like it's the end of the world.

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More weirdness. And more cops.

I was listening to 95.9 the River, hoping that they'd have something better to say about what's going on in Lockport. They played CCR's "Bad Moon Rising," and then...dead air. No announcement, no "we're experiencing technical difficulties," nothing. It's been like 20 minutes.

Not long after that, the Big Boss called a meeting in the screenprinting area. (We have a meeting room, but he wanted to talk to everyone at once, and that's the only place big enough to hold all of the employees here at Visual Impact Products.) He says he got a call from the Naperville police. Apparently, there's something going on at the Fox Valley Mall, which is only a couple of miles south of here. He says the police wouldn't tell him exactly what was going on--they just called it an 'incident'--but in any case, they were telling us to stay put, and keep the doors locked.

Wait--do what now? Keep the doors locked? I can't even imagine what situation would warrant that.

Needless to say, no work is getting done here. People are lighting up the phone lines trying to get ahold of people, and rumors are a-flyin'. The most popular theory is 'terrorists,' of course.

I worked at the Mercedes-Benz warehouse a couple of years ago when their neighbor, a chemical plant, received a bomb threat. The boss told us to evacuate to the nearest mall and be available to get called back. I guess that plan's out, if the mall is where things are happening, huh?

I turned on Newsradio 780. Maybe they'll have something useful to say.

ETA: People won't get off the phone long enough for me to call out. I have to admit, I'm starting to freak out a little bit here.

Blog like it's the end of the world.

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Badness in Lockport.

Apparently, something happened at or near the intersection of Hamilton and 10th Streets here in Puerto Loco. (For you locals, that's the location of the best ice cream ever conceived. It's also where tragic1 used to live.)

Whatever it was, there were three ambulances (four, if you count the one I passed as I was leaving town), and the cops had cordoned off a little more than a block radius around it. That means that traffic on State and 9th Streets, the two main drags through town, was completely shut down.

That? Sucked.

I haven't heard anything about it from any of the news sources, other than the traffic guys on 95.9 FM (the River) telling listeners to avoid that area, because there's no getting through there.) I wonder if somebody got shot, or something. Lockport isn't really known for its gangland violence, but it is known for rednecks and bikers bars.

This makes me nervous. Not in an immediate, batten-the-hatches kind of way, but in a more general sense. I mean, we don't usually lock our doors, and Llama Face and I go for late-night walks on at least a semi-frequent basis. Do I need to start getting worried?

Blog like it's the end of the world.

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Fuck you, Janice Crouse.

Y'know why "cult of crevette" is listed as one of my interests? Because of shit like this.

The Dreaded Recall.

Contact lens people: If you use Complete solution, throw it away before your eyes explode. (But Renu is apparently safe these days...)

(PSA courtesy of llamachameleon.)

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Gamer humor.

From Wikipedia:

Long Island College Hospital (LICH) is a teaching hospital situated in Brooklyn, New York.

I have to assume that a typical visit to LICH goes like this:

"Well sir, I've isolated your problem. We'll just have to remove your soul and place it in a phylactery. Your symptoms will clear up in the next seven to ten days. You may notice some insomnia, loss of appetite, and lack of a heartbeat. I assure you, this is entirely normal."

LICH today is known for its world class radiology department with top notch attendings, cutting edge technology and ground breaking research projects.

...And by this, we mean "a vast library of highly destructive spells."

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I found this article very interesting, though I'm sorry to say that I don't know enough about Iranian domestic policy to critique it. It bears noting that this seems to be a repeated pattern, though: the CIA and MI6 eliminated a popularly elected leader, leading to the rise of Ayatollah Khomeini's power, and turned a potentially friendly Iran into the second-worst enemy the United States had in the '80s (behind the Soviet Union, of course).

Only the US hawks can save the Iranian president now.Collapse )

I will make one point here: American saber-rattling won't get Ahmadinejad (or his replacement, when and if that happens) to give up the uranium enrichment. In fact, it will have the opposite effect. In the 60-odd years of nuclear power, have any nuclear-armed countries gotten invaded? The Bomb may have made the Soviet Union the Great Satan, but it also protected them from ground assault. We all knew better.

Iran doesn't have the capacity to attack the United States with missiles, but they could attack Israel or other friendly countries in the region. (Of course, Israel knows this, and I think it's entirely likely that israel will nuke Iran if they get too close to a working nuclear bomb.) Aside from this, Iran doesn't need ICBMs to deliver nukes. They have Hezbollah for that.

Pardon me for sounding like a liberal, but I think the best way to end Iran's nuclear program is with international sanctions. (Ideally, it would be best if other nations weren't dealing under the table with Iran, like they were with Iraq. *looks pointedly at France and Russia*) If the Iranian people know that they can start strengthening their economy if they just give up on the nuclear weapons, they might just do it, because they have to know that no good will come of war with the United States, even if neither of our presidents are able to figure that out.

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The Sanctity of Marriage

"But if gays can marry, it will spoil the holiness of standing drunkenly in front of an Elvis impersonator at 4:30 AM in Vegas."

--From Scott Bateman's Sketchbook of Secrets & Shame

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These guys can get so confusing.

The Visual Impact Products Random Customer Generator

Roll 3d20 and consult the following table, ignoring duplicate results:

1 Team
2 Sport(s)
3 Athletic(s)
4 Zone
5 Coach
6 Corner
7 Sport event (home run, touchdown, etc.)
8 Name of town
9 Generic white guy's name
10 Center
11 Pro
12 League
13 Award
14 Trophy
15 Extreme
16 Screen
17 Embroidery
18 Design
19 Game
20 World

For example, if I rolled 1, 2, and 11, my random customer is Team Sport Pro, which is a little place in Glenview, Illinois.

Arrange your results to your own personal taste.

(I hate days like this. Even after putting in overtime, I have a whole day's work staring at me as though I never showed up today. Tomorrow promises to be more of the same. Calgon, take me away.)

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